How to Talk to Protect Your Child by Julie Federico

April is child abuse prevention month the month set aside to try and end child abuse. 

Parents have many responsibilities when educating their children about life. One of the most important conversations to have with your child is a conversation about body safety. What is body safety you ask? Body safety is teaching your children that their body is their own and if anyone touches them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable you want to know as soon as possible. This one piece of information can save your child from childhood sexual abuse and is key to abuse prevention. I think parents overthink this topic, get scared, and then do not say anything to their children. This is the worst thing a parent can do. The best way to prevent child abuse is to talk about it before it happens not after. 

The steps to prevent child abuse are easy. Know who is watching your children, educate your child about body safety rules, respond quickly if your child self discloses information that someone has harmed them. Most children are harmed by "loved ones", contrary to what the media feeds families' children are usually harmed by people in their own family. This is one of the downsides to talking about body safety because it can get very challenging real fast. Meaning anyone is capable of this act. Most children are not harmed or abducted by someone at a Walmart but by someone sitting around your dining room table.  

Child abuse is all about access. Make a mental list of who has access to your children, who spends time with them alone when you are not there.  No one from Walmart is going to be on this list.  93 % of children who are harmed are harmed by someone they know. Children and Teens: Statistics | RAINN.  It is highly likely that the parent introduced the child to their perpetrator, the parent left the child alone with the perpetrator and falsely believed they would be okay. Anyone is capable of this act. If you frequently leave your child alone with a close friend or family member it is okay to say to them, “I have spoken to my children about ways to prevent child abuse. 

In our family, child abuse is discussed and we have an open dialogue. My children will be reporting to me if someone they know is making them feel uncomfortable.” You don’t have to say this but it goes a long way to aid in child sexual abuse prevention.   These family and friends are not on America’s Most Wanted.  If you say this to them most of them will respect the boundary you have set.  Remember if you say nothing, your children will say nothing if something happens to them.  They will take their cues from you so be sure you speak out on this topic. 

Kids of all ages instinctively know this is wrong. If you give them permission to self-disclose, they usually will.  When talking to children they will understand this information at a very young age. I do not think 18 months is too young to begin this discussion with your children. You want to be the first person to talk to your child about child abuse, not the perpetrator. I say 18 months because my daughter was around 18 months when I got my first proof of my landmark children’s book Some Parts Are NOT for Sharing. I read it to my daughter,  later we were carving pumpkins she asked me, “Mom do pumpkins have private parts?” I thought I am really onto something here. She gets this! Your child can get it as well.  

Parents struggle with how to prevent child abuse, it is really very simple. Read my book to your children, have conversations about people who are in a caregiving role in their life, talk about your family relationships, and that it is okay to tell if anyone in our family hurts you. Tell your children that you will not be angry but that you do want to know as soon as possible. As your child grows their questions will change, you will know when it is time to include more information than what was in the book. Some Parts are NOT for Sharing.  This is a child abuse prevention book for children 0-9 years old. It is also available in Spanish. To order discount copies visit: Home | Children's Services Author Julie Federico (square.site)